It is finally official i am sick! I have a fever. I can not eat anything!
It makes me feel even worse. I am light headed, and weak. Sleeping
constantly. and just plain feel like death! I took today off, and hopefully
will convince my mother to let me stay home tomorrow, i really feel
that awful! so much for Open Gym on Friday, or maybe even Youth on
Wednesday! I hate being sick. I try to put it off for as long as possible.
Okay now that i am done complaining about being sick. haha
As most people know I have been dating this guy, Ethan. I have known him for...i don't even know how long, he has always just been there. Well over summer things got really weird between us and once school started it didn't get any better. One thing, he NEVER came to visit me!! I get that i could have gone to him, but its his job to do it first! that is just one of many things that had bothered me. After taking many breaks, finally in October i ended things, permanently. After that we didn't talk until December. and when we were talking it was just talking, not o i want to get back together talk, because i so did not, even though Ethan made it pretty obvious that was what was on his mind.
I do not know what happened but honestly i woke up one day, and just stopped caring about him. Well i still care about him as a person, but nothing more then that. I do not see any future with us, and i don't want to. I haven't been able to tell him this because of how he has been acting. He tells me i am the only person he lets in, or I'm the only one he talks to. He couldn't make it without me. and that makes me REALLY uncomfortable! i don't want to be really anything to him, other then that crazy girl from IL. I told him that he can not come down and visit me now, that he missed his chance, and he got angry at me. I do not want to hurt his feelings, but i can't keep going on like this. I have moved on, quit literally. I just do not know how to explain all of this to him, and not hurt his feelings.
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Moving forward in life. Closing one chapter, only to open another one. I hope to catpure every moment.
3 comments:
Hey Girly,
I understand your situation and quite honestly you have dealt with it wisely in my opinion.
When you're dating if both people don't make the same amount of effort, that's not likely to change. I'm glad you saw that :)
As far as creating this seperation, you're smart. You don't want to be treated like a yo-yo, and you don't deserve that.
Be patient, God has someone waiting for you that will value and cherish you ALL of the time!
Feelings get hurt sometimes, just say it nicely and move on. You have to do what is best right now, and if he truely cares about you as he says, he will understand.
Hope that helps!
Shoot me an E-mail if you wanna chat :)
Thanks Katie!!
I am not nearly as eloquent as KT, but I agree with her. Choices are not always easy to make. Sometimes there really are no "easy" ways to go about something. Being honest with yourself and Ethan is the probably the best way to go IMO..but that's my opinion...Though throughout my life I have found that when I force myself to take a step back and look at everything from a different POV is the only way I could see where I should be going.
Hope this garble helps a bit...
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