Dave

Tonight at 5:30 we got a call from my aunt, informing us that
my cousin's husband, Dave, had a stroke.
He is 34 years old.
His wife, Amy, is expecting a baby in August.
I am close to my whole family,
but my whole life i have been closest to Amy,
and since Amy and Dave got married
i have gotten so close to him too.
He wasn't just an "in-law"
he is apart of this family.
we wouldn't be whole without him.
He can walk and talk but has no feeling in his head
at the moment.
He is at a hospital on the far north side at the moment
but they are trying to transfer him to a closer hospital
but traffic is impossible that they still haven't even left the
other hospital, yet.

Dave is someone who i relate to so much.
He isn't just Amy's husband.
or a cousin, he's a friend, some i look up to.
and he plays a role as the older
brother my sister and i never had.
He makes fun of us all the time,
we are always joking around.
He has made it appoint though to make sure
I know that he is always there when i need to talk
about anything.

He always asks about "the guys" in my sister's and mines life.
and we would make up nick names for them, so we could still talk
about them around my parents with out them knowing.
he would ask about school and he was always asking about college for me.
and our friends, and church.
he always cared.
he knows me and my mom's relationship and said
that i am to stay over at least once every two months if not once a month
to just get away from everything.
i am so lucky to have him as a part of my family.
Dave, Amy, and I drove all the way to Ohio, to get
their first baby, Daisy, who is a dog!!
she is soo cute!!



*this is amy and dave at the Sox game we all went to one the 4th of July.*




*this is just Dave.*




*this is Daisy, their first baby girl!*

Please God. don't let anything happen to him.
we need him!!
please keep Dave and our family in your prayers.

One year

March 22- 23, 2007.
Two days of my life that i will never forget.
Thursday i was ready to walk away from God, give up.
I didn’t want to keep going, it didn’t seem worth it.
but then i got the phone call...Cassie had been hit.
it was unreal, but we all knew Cas, she was strong she would make it.
The last news i heard before i "went to bed" that night was
"She isn’t out of the blue, or red, but she should be just fine."
I woke up, got ready for school,
and as soon as school got out Bethany and I were going to go see Cassie at the hospital.
We didn’t get to make that trip up, it was to late.
Riding the bus to school i got the call....
she hadn’t made it....
-Cassandra Theodore Merca-
but to me, just Cassie.
On March 23, 2007 a wonderful young woman of God was taken from us. We all agree it was to early, but God had other plans. I know everyone wants to say how unique they are, but Cassie truly was. She loved with her whole heart. She sought after God like i have never seen in a person her age before. She cared for everyone. She was the shoulder to cry on, the hug you needed, and the person who always had the words to say. She told you what was on her mind. She told you what you needed to hear. She made mistakes, tons of them and she would be the first to admit it. She wasn’t perfect, far from it actually but the difference was she always strove towards holiness. She had such an anointing on her life. God used her in so many ways. Her life wasn’t about her at all. It was ALL about God and His plan for her life, and showing the world to God.
She always fallowed her heart, and never gave up. She started to pave the way for Stone Crew Ministries.
No one will ever forget that girl’s eyes. or her smile.
Her laugh brought light into the darkness.
She had a voice of an angel.
She used all of her talents to worship God. whether that was singing, playing the drums, swimming, playing water polo or her best talent of all just talking.
Cassie’s last year at Fine Arts she sang, "Do They See Jesus In Me?"
she did an amazing job. but when people told her that she got mad.
She didn’t want it to be about her, she sang that song for God and God alone. She didn’t want the credit.
She was a daughter, sister, cousin, niece, leader, but most of all she was a friend.
Cassie was i think the strongest person i have ever met!!
&& not just in the physical sense of that
She was strong all around!!

I love Cassie so much. She has forever impacted so many people’s lives. Cassie, you will never be forgotten.

Losing Cassie was and still is one of the hardest things i have ever experienced.
When she died she took a part of me with her.
Although she was younger then me, i looked up to her.
She was always seeking God.
I wanted passion like her.
She is the one we would all go to tomorrow.
But she isn’t here...
I still look around youth some nights or during Sunday school
and expect to see her walking in.
Or i’ll look into the drums area and expect to see her smiling face looking out.
It hurts not having her here,
more then most people will ever be able to understand.
Since March 23, 2007 there hasn’t been a day that i have not thought about her, missed her, loved her....
At the age of 15, Cassie impacted more lives then most people will in their WHOLE life.

Tomorrow Cassie will have been gone one whole year,
and to be completely honest i do not know if i am ready for that.
I remember every detail about that week like it happened yesterday.


Cassie, never really died. i mean yes physically she died, and spiritually she is in heaven,
but Cassie lives in our memories of her,
in the stories we tell people.
Cassie will never be forgotten.
and always be loved.

I miss Cassie so much.
i really really do.
i learned so much from her.

"A million times we’ve needed you. A million times we’ve cried. If love alone could save you, you never would have died. In life we loved you dearly, in death we love you still. In our hearts you hold a place no one else will ever fill...it broke our hearts to lose you...but you didn’t go alone, part of us went with you...the day God took you home."

" … Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed" (Psalm 139:6).

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither things present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

We will make you proud

Yesterday it had been one year.
it is still unbelievable that such an amazing young woman is gone.

Cassie changed so many lives.
She forever changed mine
It seems like yesterday when we were in Sunday night service, and she had begged P. Erik to play Yearn. and he finally gave in, but Cas just couldn't get the beat down. it was so ironic.

There are SO many memories, SO many people could tell you.

Cassie was a very special girl.
and we were lucky to have her, even in the short period of time that we did.


"Some people come in and out of your life and leave finger prints,
but some come and leave foot prints!
Cassie left footprints, HUGE, life impacting footprints."



Stone Crew, and anyone who knew Cassie.
today will be hard, but we will make it through.
i promise you that.
we all miss her soo much, but everything will be fine.
it's okay to cry, because i can guarantee that i will.
we have each other, and we all will be there for each other.
this goes especially for Stone Church, we are a family.
and its days like today when we REALLY need each other.
Keep your head up, smile, because that's what Cassie would want.
Cassie, i love you girlie.
We are going to make you proud.

it hurts like yesterday

honestly, i can not believe that a year ago Cassie left us.
it feels like yesterday.
it hurts like it happened yesterday.
i miss you more then words can express.
my heart is breaking
Cas, thank you for everything you did for us.
you taught us more then you will know.
You brought Stone Crew back together,
we are now a true family.
Cassie, baby, you left footprints.
one's that no one will ever be able to replace.
i will forever love you.
and will never forget your life.

College

As my junior year is ending, college is finally starting to hit home.
it seems like i have always thought about college and where i wanted to go.
and now its not that i don't, but i don't know where to begin.
i always thought that as long as i got in i would go to Central Bible College.
Now s i'm not quite so sure.
I am between CBC and North Central.
i have no clue where God is guiding me.
For the first time in my life my future isn't secure.
i mean in grammar school, i had jr. high that i knew i was going to
then in jr. high i had high school.
no choices you just go.
now, you get the choices.
and its SCARES the living day lights out of me.
it really really does!!
and not just the going part.
or the choosing part.
one night, a couple of weeks ago i was looking at my youth group and thought to myself.
how am i going to leave all of this behind.
i'm scared. and confused. and not sure.


God please give me wisdom, and guidance of where you want me to go.
Thanks!
-amber <3

*i needed to put that out there!!*

all of my blogs aren't gone, but right now they are all just hidden.
well the one below isn't hidden becuase well Ethan is the CUTEST boy on this planet. lol
:-)

i'm sorry.
i really am.

that's really all i have to say...

Ethan and HIS girl, aka ME!! :-)

today was the best day i've had in a long long time!!!
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