Mary Sue Faust

Mary was my first friend when we moved in 5th grade. We would go to recess everyday together. After that we became inseparable. I don't think i could have made it through my move or junior high without her. We spent almost every day together. She saw me through my darkest times. She always tried to convince my parents to get me a puppy, and a cell phone. It never worked! Each summer we would go up to her cottage every weekend. We would lay out on the roof, go tubing on the lake with her neighbor, go jet skiing, take a ride around the lake on the pontoon, and go canoeing all the time. We would canoe across the lake to get Dairy Queen. The memories go on and on! She became apart of my family and i of hers. When we got to high school though things started to change. We grew up, and we grew apart. Freshman year was okay but as the years went on it was harder and harder. Mary wanted to graduate a whole year early so she got so busy we just didn't have time anymore.
I know wish I had made time. My serior year we reconnected. She wanted to go to prom with all of her friends so her boyfriend was my date and mary was our friend, Kayla's, date. One night she came over to give me the money. I was so nervous to see her, we hadn't talked at all in a year. She walked in and spilled everything to me. She told me how her parents had split up and her dad had gone crazy, how she had been diagnosed with bi-polar are a suicide attempt, she had started to drink, smoke, and use sex to cover all the pain. March of 2009 she attempted suicide again. I could not believe what my ears were telling me. This was not the friend i had once known. God laid her in my heart in such a heavy way. I knew He had brought her back to me for a reason. I started to pray and asked others around me to pray and to keep me accountable for checking up on her. She started to open up to me about everything.


Saturday, February 13, 2010 is a day i will never forget. It is the day i got the phone call informing me that my best friend, Mary, had killed herself the night before. I had just had the day of a lifetime and on the way home from Branson, in a car filled with my girls, i broke.
Since that night I do not know how to feel or what to do. I am completely numb. I'm mad at God, but i'm not. I'm mad at Mary but i can't be. What am i supposed to do...